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Andrew Lloyd Webber’s ‘Cinderella’ musical wants work earlier than Broadway

There is a satisfying musical buried someplace in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Cinderella,” at the moment enjoying London’s West End. But, just like the title character, the brand new present might use a Fairy Godmother’s wand.

Bibbidi-bobbidi-cut half-hour!

Bibbidi-bobbidi-scrap the set and costumes!

Bibbidi-bobbidi-more jokes and dancing!

What components don’t want a magic spell’s assist proper now? The best property of “Cinderella,” unsurprisingly, are its forged and Lloyd Webber’s heart-racing ballads sung on a naked stage.

Cinderella, Georgina Onuorah (she is the alternate, the position is generally performed by Carrie Hope Fletcher), makes a putting West End debut with fashionable pop aptitude in a track referred to as “I Know I Have a Heart.” She sits, shattered after the ball, on the middle of the stage in an enormous white robe and powerfully wails her ache proper to us.

As her Prince Sebastian, a non-traditionally geeky inheritor, proficient newcomer Ivano Turco innocently croons “Only You, Lonely You” about his nascent love for his childhood pal Cinderella. It’s candy and hovering — Lloyd Webber doesn’t typically put these two qualities into one showstopper — and ends on a masterful button by lyricist David Zippel: “Only you can rescue lonely me!” Sublime.

Ivano Turco, center, plays Prince Sebastian in "Cinderella."
Ivano Turco, middle, performs Prince Sebastian in “Cinderella.”
©Tristram Kenton

Problem is that this revisionist “Cinderella” isn’t darkish and brooding like “The Phantom of the Opera.” With a guide by Oscar-winning “Promising Young Woman” scribe Emerald Fennell, it fancies itself a musical comedy, like “Guys and Dolls” or “Hairspray.” But on the matinee I attended, the silent crowd may as properly have been watching Ibsen. 

“Cinderella,” at instances, brings a tear to your eye, however virtually by no means places a smile in your face. 

That joylessness must be remedied if it desires — as Lloyd Webber lately advised The Post it does — to return to Bibbidi-bobbidi-Broadway.

Fennell’s revamped plot begins off campy. Cinders is about in Belleville, a storybook French city that prizes itself on the oo-la-la hotness of its residents. “Every one a chiseled god, with a ripped and rockin’ bod!,” the ensemble sings as director Laurence Connor’s turntable twirls these horny individuals round a lot you’d suppose he was auditioning to be a DJ.

Belleville relies upon, not on farming or textiles to remain afloat, however tourism. The wrench of their plan? Cinderella, a rebellious, offended, black-dress sporting orphan who spews verbal venom and defaces property with spray paint. Her intro tune is “Bad Cinderella” — “Girl from the gutter, unpleasant peasant,” it goes. Because of her goth-y antics, the hamlet loses the coveted “Most Attractive Town” prize.

One lady hurting the native financial system by being a youngster is a reasonably low-stakes plot in case you ask me, however the musical rapidly forgets about it anyway.

The meat is within the love story.

A wedding is afoot in Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical "Cinderella," currently playing London's West End.
A marriage is afoot in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical “Cinderella,” at the moment enjoying London’s West End.
©Tristram Kenton

Prince Charming, the city believes, died in struggle, so now it’s as much as his less-buff brother Sebastian (Turco) to marry and turn into king — as a result of nothing attracts crowds like a royal marriage ceremony. Seb simply so occurs to be Cinderella’s solely pal, and realizes that she’s been his destined bride all alongside. In order to place a hoop on it, he tells her she should come to the ball and dance with him. Easy sufficient.

For an easy story, the present takes its candy time — an excellent two hours, 45 minutes all advised. You suppose you don’t know what’s happening in a scene, however the reply tends to be “filling time.”

The queen and Cinderella’s step-mother (Rebecca Trehearn and Victoria Hamilton-Barritt, robust comedic skills with meh materials) casually plot to marry Sebastian off to one of many evil stepsisters.

Cinderella (Carrie Hope Fletcher) lives with her stepmother (Victoria Hamilton-Barritt) and stepsisters (Georgina Castle and Laura Baldwin) in "Cinderella."
Cinderella (Carrie Hope Fletcher) lives along with her stepmother (Victoria Hamilton-Barritt) and stepsisters (Georgina Castle and Laura Baldwin) in “Cinderella.”
©Tristram Kenton

A muscled group referred to as The Hunks dance round shirtless and boast of their masculinity like we’re at a Vegas bachelorette celebration that additionally invited kids.   

The Fairy Godmother (Gloria Onitiri with a booming voice) surprisingly holds nip-tuck scalpels and syringes as she belts “Beauty Has A Price.”

The present’s final unwieldy half hour shifts settings, from Belleville to Crazytown.

Our confusion isn’t all the time the guide’s fault. Connor’s plodding, one-note course is the manufacturing’s largest offender, and Gabriela Tylesova’s drab and forgettable units and costumes are available an in depth second, made particularly noticeable as a result of Broadway has seen dazzling storybook designs in “Into The Woods,” “Shrek the Musical” and, properly, the 2013 revival of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Cinderella.”

But off in his personal little nook, in his personal little chair is Andrew Lloyd Webber and his marvelous musical rating, full of catchy hooks and intoxicating melodies that you simply’ll need to replay time and again. If the present makes it to Broadway (the Shubert Organization’s Bob Wankel was presupposed to fly out to see it right now, however delayed his journey on the final minute), let’s pray his collaborators meet him on the ball.